LISTEN

When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving advice
you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way
you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem!

Listen! All I asked, was that you listen.
Not talk or do - just hear me.
I can do for myself; I am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and
need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and weakness.

But, when you accept as a simple fact
that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational,
then I can quit trying to convince you
and can get about the business
of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are obvious
and I don't need advice.

Irrational feelings make sense
when we understand what's behind them.

So please listen and just hear me. And, if you want to talk,
wait a minute for your turn; and I'll listen to you.

(с) Anonymous